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August 26, 2005

Thank God it’s Friday! School just started and I’m already over it. We’re learning about Shakespearean tragedies in English and it is so dull I cannot focus. Even if I wanted to pay attention in there I couldn’t, because John and Andre sit behind me and they always fool around, touching my hair and bothering me. They may be my best friends but I am so happy I don’t have to deal with them in any of my other classes. I’m taking Trig with the upperclassman since I did so well last year and tested out of the prereqs. It’s great for my future, but now everyone thinks I’m some math freak. This, in addition to being one of the only out lesbians ,really set me up for success. Freshman year is supposed to be my year so hopefully things start looking up. Mamma told me I just need to get involved and find something I like to do besides hanging out with my girlfriend. She suggested I try out for the play like she did back in the day. Honestly, Mamma seems more excited about it than I am, but at least I’ll get to wear a cute costume and maybe make more friends than Andre, John and Julie. Either way, this weekend is going to pass too quick, and I am not excited to re-enter the doors of Alfred Lawless High on Monday.

After school today I went over to Julie’s house and her dad was watching the news before he went to work. The governor issued a state of emergency because of the weather. It seems there is a big storm coming this way. I always get nervous whenever there’s bad weather. He said it’s probably just going to pass and that I shouldn’t worry so much. I wonder what Mamma thinks about it. It’s almost ten o’clock, so she should be home soon.

XO,
Celina
August 27, 2005
I woke up this morning and did my homework. I only had a few assignments, but I want to get them done so I didn’t have to think about them anymore. Mamma had the day off, so she sat in the armchair next to me and ate her cereal while I worked. I asked her if she was worried about the storm coming. She said it wasn’t anything we couldn’t handle. We sat in silence for a long time. After a while, she sighed and got up. As she passed behind my chair to leave, she gave my shoulder a light squeeze. I have a small bag packed just in case.
Julie came over at noon. Her dad got stuck at the nursing home and had to work a double shift. She hates being alone for too long, so every time her dad works extra hours she winds up at my house. We live two blocks away from each other on Jourdan Ave., so it’s really easy for us to spend time together, much to my mother’s annoyance. Mamma supports Julie and I, but she thinks we spend an unhealthy amount of time together. What does she know? The good thing about Mamma though is that no matter how she feels, she is always polite to Julie and makes her feel welcome.
When she got here, she told us that Andre’s family left last night. His mamma had such a bad feeling about the storm, she made them pack up in their van. I guess they’re going to visit his aunt in Shreveport. I was surprised to hear they left. Andre’s mom is always talking about how she survived Betsy. It’s not just Andre’s family leaving though. A voluntary evacuation is happening in the city. I asked Julie if her and her dad would leave. She laughed and said, “Now how would we afford something like that!” I’m glad she’s so calm about it.
Julie decided to sleep on my couch tonight.

XO,
Celina
August 28, 2005
I’m writing this from the crowded stands of the superdome. There are too many people here to count. A few rows in front of me, a woman is trying to soothe her crying baby with a song. It’s not working.

When I went to the kitchen this morning, Mamma was leaning against the cupboard with a straight face chewing on her nails. I’ve learned over the years that she only does that when she’s nervous. Katrina is a category five. I don’t even really know what that means, but it’s definitely not good. I turned on the news and Mayor Nagin was talking. He said everyone had to leave. There is a mandatory evacuation in New Orleans.

The rest of the day was a blur. Julie’s dad pounded on our door and told us we all needed to leave the ninth ward. At first Mamma didn’t want to. She didn’t believe things could be as bad as they were saying, and she didn’t want to abandon her home. They started yelling at each other. Julie and I sat in the other room and waited. Once he convinced Mamma, we had to make a plan. Sure, we could decide to leave, but how would we get anywhere with no cars or cash? That’s how we ended up at the superdome, a ‘refuge of last resort.’ Obviously we weren’t the only ones who came to this conclusion. We waited outside for a long time before we got in. Now, here we are. I’m sitting in section 325 with my mom, my girlfriend, her dad and several thousand strangers waiting out the storm of the century. I hope Andre made it to Shreveport.

XO,
Celina

August 29, 2005
Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans today. The wind howled and tore at the buildings, making sure her presence was known. It sounded like a thousand trains were speeding over us so out of control they were about to fall off the rails. I’ll never be able to forget that sound. It is forever ingrained in my mind. No place was safe from the storm. The superdome’s roof couldn’t handle the weather and parts of it peeled off, which let water in through the gaps. I’ve never been so scared in my life. I kept looking at the people around me, trying to find comfort or reassurance, something to tell me that everything would be all right, but I found none. Everywhere I turned there were children crying and anxious expressions. Mamma, who usually tries to hide her fear, could not conceal the horror in her face. Everyone was wondering the same thing, “Are we going die?” Some people decided to pray to God. I said a silent prayer too. I could only hope he heard me. Julie had her fingers intertwined in mine. I couldn’t tell if my hand was shaking or hers. After what felt like forever, the screams of the winds started to die down. We made it through Katrina. Now we just have to make it through whatever’s next. It didn’t take long for people to start to get restless. Katrina hit us, so now what? Honestly, I don’t think anyone knows yet. I do know I want to get out of here as soon as possible. I would like to say I want to go home, but is home still there? From what I heard outside, I would be surprised.
August 29th is going to be stamped in my memory until I die. I am trying to tell myself there is no use in crying. I can’t change anything that has happened. But no matter what I tell myself, I can’t stop my tears from falling no more than the clouds could stop the rain from coming down.

XO,
Celina

August 30, 2005
The governor ordered an evacuation of the superdome. That better happen quick because I don’t want to stay cooped up in here much longer. It is starting to smell with all these warm bodies stuck in one place. In my little bag I only packed a few changes of clothes, so whenever I get out of here I’d like to be able to do some laundry.
I haven’t looked outside, but I guess it’s really bad. People are guessing over ten feet of water. We haven’t gotten much information yet, just that there is some bad flooding so it’s not safe for us to leave. Julie and her dad think they’re keeping information from us, but I think no one has a clue what to do. I guess both things can be true.

XO,
Celina

August 31, 2005
If Katrina didn’t hit New Orleans, I would have gone to school today. I would have been bored in class and asked for a bathroom pass to go and goof off in the hallways. That’s not the case though. I am sitting in the superdome and the plumbing doesn’t work. People have been going wherever. It definitely is not good for morale. Julie’s dad heard about some assaults that have happened here, so he said none of us girls can go anywhere without him. As if I wasn’t worried about enough. This evacuation needs to happen soon because I cannot take any more of this.

XO,
Celina

September 1, 2005
It is official, I hate MRE’s. I shouldn’t complain because I’m grateful for the rations I have, but I want real food. Food has become a hot topic here. We’re running out very quickly. It takes a lot to feed over twenty thousand people for several days and it wasn’t something anyone anticipated having to do. We had to make things last. I keep thinking to myself, “Things can’t possibly get any worse” and then they do. I am tired and disgusting and hungry and want to get out of this terrible building. I want to go home. All I feel like doing is crying but my tear ducts gave up. Honestly, giving up might be easier. At least Mamma hasn’t lost hope yet. She has spent a lot of the last few days singing. She has sung everything from hymns to top hits. She has such a pretty singing voice that even now, hearing it makes me happy. I’ve even joined in a couple of times.

XO,
Celina

September 2, 2005
Finally some good news! We are leaving the superdome and going to the astrodome in Houston. It may not be a perfect solution, but at least we’ll be in a place that has functioning plumbing and isn’t surrounded by water. We’ve spent too many days trapped in disgusting conditions. I am in desperate need of a shower. It was looking pretty bleak before we found out we were leaving. Rumor has it a man felt so hopeless in the situation he jumped off the building. I don’t know if it’s true, but I’ve overheard a few people talking about it.

XO,

Celina
September 3, 2005
I made it to Houston. We got bused out and then had a few hour trip to get there. It was so weird to see how bad things looked outside. It seemed so fake. I wish I was in New Orleans, but I’m happy I can breathe fresh air and I’m not worried about starving here. The Astrodome obviously had more time to prepare for our arrival so conditions are much better here. The mood is better here than in the superdome, at least for now. People still don’t know what they’re going to do. Everyone is just trying to take things day by day. Mamma doesn’t know if we are going to go back to New Orleans or not yet. I’ve asked her about it a couple of times and she just pushes it off. I can tell it stresses her out. If I go back to New Orleans, will it still feel like home? The levee broke in the lower 9th ward so there isn’t much to go back to but broken pieces. Andre’s family is still in Shreveport. Julie’s dad called his aunt’s house from a payphone to make sure they were okay. It’s a good thing his mom trusted her gut.
It’s time for me to go to sleep. I am exhausted.

XO,
Celina

September 13, 2005
My grandma lives in Louisville, Kentucky and I guess that’s where I’ll live soon too. I’m grateful that she offered to take me and Mamma in after everything that happened, but my heart longs for New Orleans and for a home that no longer exists. A giant barge came over the levee in the 9th ward and destroyed everything in its path. Even if my house could have survived the ten feet of flood water, it didn’t stand a chance against that 200 foot barge. If we had stayed in that house, we could have died. If we didn’t drown, we would have been crushed to death. This was the unfortunate fate of too many in the lower 9th ward. People didn’t have money to evacuate, or were too stubborn to leave, so they got flooded in, trapped in attics and stuck on roofs. If they were lucky enough to live through the storm, they suffered in the heat that followed, writing rooftop messages begging to be saved. Thankfully some lived to tell the tale, unfortunately some didn’t. John was one of the ones who did not make it out of the lower 9th ward. His family didn’t evacuate and they got trapped in the house. The water rose and rose until it was over their heads, stealing away their breath.
Like my house, Julie’s didn’t make it through the storm. Without a home to come back to, her dad decided they would build a new life in Houston and he is working on finding a job and a permanent place for them to live. After all we had gone through, saying goodbye was so painful. We both promised to call and write. Mamma told me that once we get to Louisville, I can only talk about Julie as a friend. I don’t know my grandma very well, but apparently, she is very religious and my orientation could complicate our living situation. It looks like I’ll get to do some acting after all.

XO,
Celina

 

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One Response to “Lower 9th Ward Diary”

  1. Margaret: Excellent work with this. As I said in class, you do a wonderful job of creating a persuasive and engaging voice for this character.

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